Ignorant commentary, trash talk, childish behavior and ego bruising...let's roll!


VIOLATION OF THE WEEK: Broads callin during business hours.
Look here, when I say my office hours are from 7AM-3PM in interviews, I mean it. Don't call me with no bullshit when I'm tryin to get work done. Girls that wanna chit chat, call back later, like after 9PM but before 10PM. My free minutes kick in then. Frank Zappa only gave his wife one hour per day and he was successful, so I'm doin the same thing. Time is money. After 10 PM, it's cut a check or suck a dick, I don't answer the phone after that unless it pertains to one of the two.

SONG OF THE WEEK: "All My Bitches Are Gone" by Too $hort (feat. Ant Banks)
I was bumpin this shit yesterday. Man, $hort is one cold ass dude. I swear I was the only cat in New York bumpin this in 1994. This song is loaded with over the top misogyny, 808 bass and pimpified drawl. It's about 79BPM and perfect to ride to. It's on the Get In Where You Fit In album, his best in my opinion. Y'all need that album in your life. $hort for life, bytch.

MODEL CITIZEN AWARD OF THE WEEK: Jason Williams of the Memphis Grizzlies.
Homeboy snatched a reporters pen when being interviewed after getting swept by Phoenix in the playoffs. J Will for president, fuck all this nice guy shit in the NBA.

FRED SANFORD "YOU BIG DUMMY" AWARD OF THE WEEK: Paul Pierce of the Boston Celtics.
Stupid, stupid, stupid muthafucka. Even though Boston won the game and eventually lost the series, his dumb ass got 2 techs and got ejected and put the Celtics in grave danger of gettin beat in Game 6. Boston is still my team, but he's supposed to be the leader and did that dumb shit. Honorable mention to Kendrick Perkins for blowin 2 free throws with the game on the line. Antoine Walker saved all their asses.

FLY GIRL OF THE MOMENT: Jessica Alba.
I can't get over her, she may be my new hang-up. I saw some horrible movie with her playing a dancer/choreographer a while back, I think it was called Honey. The writing in this movie made the writing in the VH1 special, Play'd, look like a Quentin Tarrentino production. It was that bad, but Jessica Alba is that BAD! She might be one of 3 women on this planet that could get me to spend money on her...even though I don't have any. I'd be takin records to the pawn shop to keep her on the team! She so fine I could take her to Burger King and I wouldn't ask to be reimbursed for buyin her onion rings.


NBA PLAYOFF TRASH TALK

EAST

MIAMI HEAT vs. WASHINGTON WIZARDS

I like the Wizards, but let's be real. They should win ONE game at home, but that's it. They can shoot, but you live by the j, you die by the j. I gotta give it up to Gilbert Arenas for his buzzer beater against Chicago in game 6 though. I was rootin for Chicago, but I knew they'd lose being they were undermanned. Props to Gilbert, he's no joke. Same goes for Larry Hughes. I like the Wizards, they're fun to watch, but there's NO answer for Flash and Diesel. None! I like the Wizards' "Big 3", so I'll give em benifit of the doubt for one game and say Miami in 5.

DETROIT PISTONS vs. INDIANA PACERS

I like both teams here as well, but I say Detroit got this one. Indiana, I didn't think they'd pass Boston, but they held it down. I was rootin for Boston, but I'm
glad to see Reggie keep playin a little while longer. As much drama and turmoil as Indiana had this season, they made it this far, so I give em much props. With
Ron Artest and everybody healthy, I think they'd beat Detroit in 7 games, but that ain't an option and Detroit is too tough. When the Pistons are moving and all
cylinders are clickin (no pun intended), Detroit is cleanin house like that fat fruitcake, Mr. Belvedere. Everybody gonna be focusin on the brawl, but this series
could have some serious ballin. Detroit in 6.

WEST

DALLAS MAVERICKS vs. PHOENIX SUNS

Told y'all! Y'all muthafuckas talkin that "Houston gonna beat Dallas cause Houston is up 2-0" bullshit. And What!? What!? That's what I thought. Dirk didn't even play well, Jason Terry bust Houston's ass by himself. Yao Ming is soft soft soft soft soft soft soft soft soft soft soft soft soft!!! SOFT! To be 57 foot 6 and not gettin a double double every single game is straight busterville. OK, now that I've killed any chance of gettin a show in China, I'll say he has a lil potential, but T-Mac had no help outside of Mike James and John Barry and y'all that were talkin that shit to me when Dallas was down 0-2 can hold deez (nutz). Anyway, Phoenix ain't Houston. Phoenix will beat Dallas, cause they play Dallas' game, but better. They say you live by the j, you die by the j. But what about when everybody from your guards, to your forwards to your waterboy can shoot the lights out? You ain't losin if the other team ain't a defensive monster. Dallas will make a run, but won't pull it off. Phoenix in 6.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS vs. SEATTLE SONICS

I REALLY REALLY want Seattle to win this series, cause y'all know I can't stand San Antonio. But with the chances already being 70% in favor of San Antonio, the heart of every Sonic fan dropped 10 feet when Ray and Radmonovic left the game with ankle injuries this past Sunday night. It's over. They'll probably be back, but those bad havin, no style, awful hairline havin Spurs will win in 5.


I was aight with my predictions last week, guessing right for losses for the Rockets, Nets, Grizzlies, Sixers, Bulls & Kings. I fucked up on the Pacers & Spurs, but 6 out of 8 ain't bad. I'll be back next week to see how I did. E-mail me with some hate/agreement/whatever.

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