Let the ign'ance begin!


SONG OF THE WEEK

"Hurricane" by The Click (E-40, B-Legit, Suga T & D-Shot)

It's only right. In 1995 The Click made up a song about their favorite drink and it's a classic. After goin to club Empire with Celph Titled, Majik Most and DJ Fisher in Tampa (pics coming soon)...and gettin so bent from the $8 all you can drink special, I gotta put a booze anthem in here. Yours truly was to up from the flo up. Hood liquor, nothin to eat all day but a Subway sandwich and a complete raping of the bar caused me to hurl all over Tampa Airport the next day. This song was stuck in my head while I was prayin to the porcelain god in the handicapped bathroom stall. Holdin on to the guide bars on the toilet and ejecting my 1/2 sandwich and Long Island Iced teas, all I could hear in my head is E-40 screaming "I'm so Tooow!" I vowed to never drink again, but if you beleive that, you're a moron. Big up to my pops for takin me to Wet Willies in Palm Beach to drink "Call A Cab" 150 proof daquiris. As you can see, Florida vacation was bad for my liver, so I'm sober for now. I'll be drinkin Yoohoo like Mekhi Phifer in Clockers for a while.

Other songs in my head while I was hurling at my pops house after I left the airport:

"190" by J-Zone & Al-Shid
"Only When I'm Drunk" by Tha Alkaholiks
"I Gotta Call Earl (Skit)" by King T


FLY CHICK OF THE WEEK: VANITY

Damn, I gotta go old school again. I was watchin Berry Gordy's Last Dragon 2 weeks ago (my second favorite movie ever) and thought about how I wanted to bone Vanity as a kid. That chick was off the charts! Any kid that grew up in the 80's-90's wanted to get in them drawers. I heard she found religion and don't look good anymore, but that don't matter. Bruce Leroy and Prince were the luckiest brothers of the 80's. Vanity 6 could get it too, all of them broads. Hey Laura Charles, take ME to Seventh Heaven! (inside joke for those that can relate.)


NBA PLAYOFF TRASH TALK

THE EAST

Damn! I love the Detroit Pistons, don't get me wrong. But I was lookin forward to watchin Shaq beast out on Tim Duncan and Dwayne Wade make Bruce Bowen his bitch. I guess not. Damon Jones turned the ball over on that one posession and I saw fishing rods in the Miami Heat's near future right then. I don't give a fuck what the outcome is, Dwayne Wade is fuckin up everybody in the NBA, with LeBron as the runner up. Those 2 dudes, plus Amare Stoudamire, are about to wreck shop in 2006, and I don't wanna hear no Kobe or Carmelo talk. Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up. In spite of my boys losing, I still got love for the Pistons and I hope Big Ben mops the floor with Duncan. I hope big Elden Campbell puts Rasho Nesterobitch on his ass. Detroit is tired from the Heat series, but San Antonio is cold and Detroit can use that to an advantage. Yo Detroit, as MOP would say, "Stomp these muthafuckas, smash these muthafuckas, bash these muthafuckas, get at these muthafuckas!!!!!"

THE WEST

Aight, I knew I was bullshittin when I claimed Phoenix would take out San Antonio. But still, are y'all ready for another boring Spurs playoff round? Don't get it twisted, Ginobili and Parker are as fun to watch as anybody, but I just can't roll with Tim Duncan. He's good, but c'mon...dude look like he got lined up at Supercuts or Lemon Tree. Simpleton ass team. I mean, I thought Phoenix would at least give these fools a run. Coach of the year (although Rick Carlisle desereved that honor instead), MVP, best record in the NBA...What happpens? The "Matrix" vanishes, my man Q Rich couldn't heat up(Yo Brandy, stop bird cluckin in the stands), the coaching was doo doo. I'ma say this though. Next year in the post, Amare Stoudamire is fuckin up everybody in the NBA not named Shaq or Ben Wallace. So Timmy Dunc, get used to this feeling, cause you will be gettin faded in '06. By Amare, and hopefully by a set of clippers. And let's not forget Mr. Former MVP airballed a free throw! A muthafuckin free throw! How ladylike. Fuck that, I'm talkin shit! I hope Detroit mops the floor with those muthafuckas.

I'm out til the finals are over.