Let's get it on! Don't stall, pull the switch and zap that bitch...

It felt good to dis my native city of NYC last month. A lotta comments via e-mail. I meant every word, about gentrification, chicks, sports teams, dickriding, rap shows and all. But now we gonna move on and get back to the more traditional Hot Sauce.


SONG OF THE UPDATE:

TIE!!!
"LIQUOR STO" BY C-BO AND "SKINNY GIRLS (EAT SOME FOOD)" BY MAJIK MOST

Man, the intro skit to "Liquor Sto" really sounds like they had a tape deck running during a morning hangover. "Man, I'm finna go to the sto..." in the drunkest Cali drawl you can imagine. You can't fake shit like that. And the bottom line is C-Bo promotes the consumption of both OE 800 and Crazy Horse. Anybody who drinks Crazy Horse is a bonafide machine and a model citizen in my book. And although Majik Most is fam, I gotta give him the award as well. "Skinny Girls" is the funniest shit I heard all year. "Take em on a date and they blow away, tumbleweed hoes..."


OLD SCHOOL CHICK OF THE UPDATE:
KIM FIELDS AKA TOOTIE FROM FACTS OF LIFE

To be honest, 3 of those 4 girls could GET IT! I once had a dream of a foursome with me, Tootie, Jo and Blair, but it was cut short by my Grandmoms yellin at me to wake up and move my car off the grass strip in the driveway. I didn't talk to her for a week for ruining that one. But Tootie was so developed, I be watchin reruns like damn, she wasnt't even legal and I'm starin at her as a grown ass man. Not a good look. Fuck it, Tootie all day long!


BASKETBALL BANTER

OK New Yorkers, stop gettin excited. Y'all are actin like gettin Eddy Curry on the Knicks will help the cause this season. Curry is good, but are y'all forgettin who's coach? Larry Brown won't play any young dudes like that. Nate Robinson can be a good floor general and Steph might be better at the shooting guard spot with Jamal Crawford on the bench (so he can only shoot a normal 10-15 times a game), but I dont think LB will do it. He will try to win with Malik Rose and anybody else on that team that is over 30. Isiah is assembling a Rucker Entertainment team before our eyes and LB will no doubt have a triple by pass by Thanksgiving, and not because of the glazed ham either. The Knicks will have the flash of the Globetrotters, the stats of all-stars and the record of last years Hawks. What I wouldn't do to see Ricky Davis drop 35 on em on opening day again. Word from Chicago is Tim Thomas and Mike Sweetney ain't even in shape. Are y'all surprised? All things Knicks are built to lose, I thought you knew!

And in other b-ball news, did anybody else notice Ron Artest changed his number from 91 back to 15 in the scrimmage against the Nets? Return to normalcy? Let's hope not. A year without Artestmania, random wildness and album promotion quotables is as exciting as a year of WNBA ball.


Bring on the hate!