SONG OF THE UPDATE:

tie: "BLAC VAGINA FINDA" by ONYX and "DISGUSTING" by GANKSTA NIP

Being I got a few requests to do music for pornos as of late, it's only right that I naturally gravitate towards listening to some of rap's raunchiest x-rated songs (I do that on the regular anyway). I've heard of "Jimmy", "Dick Starbuck" and "Tonto" for nicknames for one's johnson, but Onyx kept it simple with "Jack, Da Blac Vagina Finda". Sticky Fingaz' verse on here is CLASSIC, as is Big DS' (RIP) 4 bar intro verse. I've had Onyx's first 2 albums on constant rotation in the ride for over a month now. All We Got Iz Us is probably one of the top 10 most slept on rap albums ever and I found a love for Bacdafucup after initially hating it back in 1993. Onyx...SALUTE! Gangksta Nip on the other hand makes Onyx look nun-like. This dude is a psycho/ pimp/ serial killer/ cannibal/ outright madman. His hard to find debut album, South Park Psycho, is the craziest album I ever heard. And his tribute to the ladies, "Disgusting", is borderline disturbing but genius! His second album, Psychic Thoughts, was my shit in high school. Nip, please come back! The game needs you. Actually, a J-Zone/ Ganksta Nip/ Sticky Fingaz collab would offend every living creature, animals included! Nip, Sticky...GET AT ME!!!


OL SCHOOL CHICK OF THE UPDATE: LAURA FROM FAMILY MATTERS

Bein I was on some TGI Friday shit last update and picked Lori Loughlin from Full House, I gotta keep it consistent and go with Laura from Family Matters. She was lookin RIGHT as the seasons went on. I felt so bad for Urkel. He pursued her for 7 years and never hit that. His best chance was when he played Stephon Urkelle, the romeo fantasy character. Why didn't he just stay Stephon for long enough to tap that azz? I was rootin for the nerd after a while, like c'mon Laura, give the dude just a taste! It got so bad I stopped watchin the show cause I even got blue balls just lookin at that situation. And Urkel just got too damn big to be doin that character. A 6 '2 deep voiced nerd (that could play ball like a mutha!)? Shit, that Stephon could ball better than the Marbury one in NY right now, and speakin of that,
here it goes.....


THE NBA WEEK 3 WRAP UP...RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM J-ZONE AKA CAPTAIN BACK$LAP

I HATE NY

Stephon gotta go. As does everybody that ain't a rookie. After this paltry 2-5 start, I don't care what they do. I personally am so disgusted with Knick basketball that I want them to lose every single game for the rest of the season. I'm a big Q Richardson fan, and they even got me rooting against him. Words and emotions can't describe how much I hate this team. From Allan Houston's deathblow contract, to the revolving door of coaches, to Isiah fuckin up the money, to signing Keith Van Horn back in the day to the current roster of bums (rookies excluded)...I officially hate this team for life. I wanna see them lose every game. I love how they're winning with 3 minutes left and they collapse and lose to a team like Portland. So good to see my dog Sebastian Telfair show up his big cousin on TV. I hope they don't improve, I love to see Mike Lupica tear em apart in the Daily News everyday. The boos at MSG, the ESPN and TNT crew's trashing of their whole style. I love it! Im a NY native and a muthafuckin traitor!

SURPRISE!!!!

I knew Golden State would be entertaining, but I didn't think they'd look this solid. Baron and J Rich are one of the most exciting backcourts in the NBA. As are TJ Ford and Micheal Redd of Milwaukee. They got Mo Williams and Andrew Bogut too? I'm not claiming they'll win the east, but they will make the playoffs and they are turning out to be the most exciting team in the NBA and a real wildcard. I'll never miss a Bucks game at this point. Washington and (finally) my LA Clippers look good too. But on another note, the Heat ain't dominatin like I thought. It's still early and Week 3 is very premature, but the injuries and chemistry problems gotta be fixed fast, cause Indiana looks good and Detroit looks like the 92 Bulls. Seattle is off to a slow start too. I been a fan since '88, so hopefully they can get going.

HATE EM IF YOU WANT

On these very pages of zonesite.net I have trashed Kobe Bryant, Vince Carter and the San Antonio Spurs. All for personal reasons, not so much basketball ones. Well, personal gotta step aside cause all 3 are GOONIN right now. Kobe looks unstoppable, the Spurs are destroying teams and Vince...damn, Vince! He must love New Jersey, cause I haven't seen him play like that since North Carolina. I feel bad for all my people in Toronto. Sorry y'all! He stunk it up in TO, then came down to NJ and looks like muthafuckin' Jordan! The 3 point barrages?! Crazy! That dunk he put on Alonzo?! Ouch! Hate him or love him, Vince is an animal! Point blank, the trio we love to hate is on a rampage and I won't say shit bad about em til someobody stops em.

Well, that's about it for now. Every few weeks I'll drop a lil trash talk for my b-ball folk out there. Stay tuned and send all the hate mail you like!!