Aint much difference between a frog and a toad, but there's a BIG difference between a HOG and a ho! Let's go!

DON'T HOLLA (PART 2)

Well it's now 2006. Big deal. Literally. 2005 was a rough year for Old Maid Ent., specifically yours truly. The knee injury, the Greyhound leaving me stranded with my dick in my hand (literally, I was takin a piss), the continuing saga of psychotic girls I manage to get involved with, a smashed in car window, stolen radio and ensuing $225 bill and horrible ear infection. Fuck that. 2006 is a no drama, mo money year...hopefuly. Speaking of all you psycho, stuck up, flaky ass chicks...the motto for 2006 is still DON'T HOLLA! Thats right, DON'T HOLLA. I explained this a few Hot Sauce updates ago, but I mean that shit. That's my attitude this year. Fuck kickin game, bein smooth, askin girls for numbers, buyin drinks (not like I ever did that), puttin up an effort, etc. I ain't no damn Hector the Ho Protector. All you dudes runnin up to me at parties sayin "yo J, you need to HOLLA at these chicks up in here man, pimps dont pay taxes man!"..SHUT THE FUCK UP. Hell no, ho. 2006 is holla free! Don't get me wrong, I'm all about meetin some fine women, but these frontin ass birds ain't gettin shit but bad advice and directions to hell. The only time I can meet a normal chick or have any success, it just happens with no crazy effort. So HOLLAing/puttin up effort is OUT, cause all it does is get me broads like I'm talkin about in "Hog Luv" (audio on the New Ish Page). I don't need yall, thats what fly girls in magazines are for! And people that have no intention on callin me down the line, dont say "Yo dog Imma HOLLA at you", when you know you won't. FUCK ALL YALL! The bullshit ends in 06...Hogs up, ho's down! Money over bitches (both male and female) Now let us continue on...


SONG OF THE UPDATE

"I AIN'T TRICKIN" BY KOOL G. RAP

Everybody knows that G Rap is arguably the greatest MC of all time. Well, at least to me he is. "Road To The Riches", "Talk Like Sex", "On The Run, "Go For Your Guns", "Break A Bitch Neck", "Deathwish", etc. But rarely mentioned is this gem from his XXX album that came out in 1996. "I Ain't Trickin" is my bible. Chickenheads, take heed to some of these amazing lines...

"I ain't buyin a bitch a piece of fried chicken...don't believe in holidays, don't go on dates, I ain't with the movies or puttin on a pair of skates"

"5 bucks is too steep, its all about leavin bitches in the hotel sleep"

"So what you didnt eat in 3 nights, I don't give a shit if you was losin your eyesight...I can hear your stomach growlin while Im crackin for that ass"

"Cab fare what? Take the fuckin train. (but its gettin ready to rain). Thats real fucked up, thats a muthafuckn shame"

Kool Genius...I believe so! Trickin and HOLLAing is OUT in 06!


MODEL CITIZEN OF THE MONTH: SCOTTIE "NO TIPPIN" PIPPEN

His nickname is No Tippin Pippen. You know he is NOT trickin, he won't even leave the waitress a tip. The man is COLD! Even I leave a tip! Scottie, we salute you and
aspire to be at your level someday!


NBA/B-BALL TALK

Ok, Ok. So what? The Knicks won 4 straight. They still suck. I give Channing Frye, David Lee and Nate Robinson credit though. Them rookies are reppin my city right. I'm still not impressed with the vets though. Fuck it, Im still mad from the Allan Houston days, and I will be a prejudicial Knick hater for life! Fuck em...Hate Kobe as a person all you want, but that dude is wreckin shop now. Hate to say it, but statwise he's the next Jordan. He's just an asshole though. Laker fans don't get too happy though. KB8 won't let Smush Parker and Lamar Odom get no scoring, so when playoff time comes, they OUTTA HERE! He cant get out the first round by himself, and let's not forget y'all got Kwame Brown, the biggest bust since Ice-T and Judd Nelson took down the Carter in New Jack City. Oh well, Cavs/Lakers tonight, it's on!We're kinda at that point in the season where shit hasn't gotten heated up yet, but the initial first month excitement is gone. Stay tuned, even though I may seen kinda short on commentary now...Oh, and did I forget to mentin that the Pistons look unbelievable right now?...Ironically, with all the high school and NBA hoops I follow, I don't really follow the NCAA til March. But I gotta drop 3 names. Quincy Douby from Rutgers MUST be watched. Dude is a beast! I saw him torch people from 3 point land in high school like 4-5 years ago. He hit 18 of 21 3point attempts in a game once. Yes 18! Dude finished with 63 points! Watch this dude play, you won't be sorry. Iowa State is fun to watch too. Rashon Clark, a fellow Queens resident, is no joke. I saw him do one of the nastiest dunks Ive ever seen as a high school junior, a few years back. Iowa State is my squad. Oh, and this Morrison dude from Gonzaga is CRAZY! That white boy is NO JOKE! He got hair like a fuckin member of Metallica or some shit, but he's gotta get watched. I always hated Gonzaga cause they remind me of Duke, but I'll watch em for this kid. Oh, and speakin of Duke? FUCK EM!!! That lucky ass buzzer beater against Va Tech last month made me cry, literally. Fuck Duke, fuck em! And fuck that decrepid bastard Dick Vitale, baabyyyyy! Lil bitch...

Im out