HOT SAUCE

"Wanna tongue kiss biiiiitch? It figures. I'll introduce ya to my homeboy Richard. Also known by his nickname Dick...now lets tongue kiss, bitch" - Too $hort, 1990

ALBUM(S) OF THE UPDATE:
JAVIER & THE STR8JACKERS: THE HARD WAY/ ICHIBAN RECORDS' EARLY 90's RAP CATALOG

Some of y'all are sayin "huh?". Yeah, this was a rare one. It was actually Jermaine Dupri's second production ever, he was only 16 when he did this. Javier was from Atlanta, he wasn't the dopest MC, but the beats and mood of this record are dope. Lots of funky samples with mad bridges and changes on some Bomb Squad shit. Tales of jackin suckas, gettin at the chicks and partyin is all that's at hand. Its loaded with short skits (more than half the tracklisting) and the album has like 20 total tracks but it's only 40 minutes. But it's some dope totally unknown early 90's shit. I got it on tape, the vinyl and cd are hard to get. And while I'm at it, I gotta big up that whole slept on Ichiban Records catalog. Father Dom, Kilo, The Hard Boys, MC Breed, K-Stone, Detroit's Most Wanted, Gangsta Pat, 1-Five Posse...they were all dope generic early 90's tapes and thats been all I've been bumpin lately. They had the original underground rap scene. Now watch the muthafuckas be $100 on eBay in a year, haha. Don't sleep!

OLD SCHOOL BROAD OF THE MOMENT
JUDY JETSON

Aight, so the bitch was a cartoon. I don't care, I'd still beat that. She was hot in the ass and you know lil Elroy wanted a piece of his older sister. I got a Spacely Sprocket for Judy's lil ass. Let's recreate the theme song:

"Meet J-Zoney....this Bacardi.....Daughter Judy....lay the pipe!!!!"

Judy, bring your old animated ass on out to Queens and help me out, I'm in a dry spell!!


NBA CONFERENCE FINALS/ SPURS FANS DISAPPEAR MYSTERIOUSLY/ TONY PARKER RAPPIN/ LEBRON So now we're gettin to the nitty fuckin gritty. 4 teams left, and I admit...these are the best damn playoffs in a while after a pretty ho-hum start. Rasheed talkin big shit then havin to eat his words (temporarily), Kobe and Raja beefin, Jason Terry gettin Eastside high school on Mike Finley, Mark Cuban (best damn owner in the NBA) totally shittin on San Antonio in the media, that dude is the man...oh and speakin of San Antonio, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. FUCK EM. I told yall...Mavs, bitch! Had J Terry not been suspended, it woulda been in 6 games. I just feel bad for Van Exel and Finley cause they both deserve rings, but got bounced FROM the Mavs, thought they had a path to the finals with the Spurs, then got bounced BY the Mavs. Foul. But fuck the Spurs, fuck em. As good as they may be, I ain't rollin with no boring Tim PUNKan, Bruce HOwen, HOny Parker, Manu GinHObli, Robert HOrry, Nazir MuHOmmed...I like them as ball players, but with that team it's guilt by association wearing those ugly uniforms and rollin with Coach Greg Pop-HO-BITCH so what are these guys til they leave the Spurs? 5 HO's and a PUNK! There was a lotta Spurs lovers on my myspace page talkin HELLA anti-Mavs shit. And when the Spurs got spanked, I went back to my page to talk a lil friendly trash in good fun and their comments had mysteriously disappeared! They musta deleted their profiles and went into hiding the second that buzzer sounded. It takes me 5 minutes to log on, I'm the dial up prince ya heard!?!?! No disrespect to any San Antonio resident, but y'all team CHOKED and CROAKED, I'm talkin shit now!!! Even my homeboy who is a Spurs fan just refuses to pick up his phone, cause he knows I'mma trash that team til November 1, and it still won't stop then. The only bad thing about them gettin bounced early is that now Tony Parker has more time to finish his rap album. Oh no. I retired from rappin, but I may have to come back to do "A Friendly Game Of Basketball (Part 2)". But if ol TP wanna get a beat from me, I'll cut him a nice price or if he can hook me up with one of Eva Longoria's cousins or some shit. But back to the topic at hand...Spurs went the fuck out like Ricky in Boyz N Tha Hood. "Yo don't worry, Tre, I got this..." Nope. No ya don't! Even if LeBron signed with the Spurs, I got jokes on him. And speakin of LeBron...DAMN!!!!!!! That dude proved himself even more to me that he has arrived. That man (barely an adult) is gonna SHIT all over the NBA in a few years. When he's 25 years old, damn, what a fuckin ball player. I can't say better than Jordan cause I don't think he'll have the rings and supporting cast that Jordan had. But as an individual player, he's gonna be the best of all time, cause what he did to Detroit was unbelievable...plus he put Rasheed in the dunce corner for a few days. The Pistons was SWEATIN! I love my Detroit city, but y'all was scared! Admit that shit, cousin. LBJ23 is the present, the future and the truth!! Without a doubt he's the MVP of the playoffs. Now let's talk conference finals...

HEAT vs PISTONS
This is a little hard. The I thought the Pistons would play great against the Cavs and the Heat would get bounced by the Nets and I was extremely wrong in both cases. It's hard to say. I picked Detroit to win it all, but if the Heat play smart and get a damn offensive rebound, they can beat the Pistons. But I ain't sayin they will. It's 1-1 now, I think this will go the distance. I say Pistons in 7, cause Dwayne Wade ain't goin out like a punk, he's the real deal. But if the Pistons get sloppy and the Heat win, it's no surprise. When Ben Wallace is on a roll scoring points, you're slackin. The Pistons are like the 2002 Lakers, they turn it on and off and if they ain't careful, they'll be like the 2003 Lakers and fuck around and lose...but not to the Spurs, cause they got ELIMINATED already!!!!Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yo Timmy, catch me a trout!

SUNS vs MAVS
Steve Nash and Boris Diaw had their way in game 1. They fucked the Mavs up. Devin Harris was beastin for the Mavs, but they gotta step up the defense to pull this off. Especially with the Suns firepower and Josh Howard's ankle problem. They got an advantage with Raja Bell being out for the Suns too. Another evenly matched series. Both teams can drop 120 in a game, but the Mavs newly found defensive plan will help them pull it off in 6 games. We'll see...