"Record hatin biitches, shouldn't be livin!" - E-40

I apologize. Due to being extremely busy at the Old Maid Man$ion, I was only able to find time to do my NBA Finals predictions. The Old School Broad of the Month and Album of the Month will have to wait until next week or so. Go back and check my Ichiban early 90's rap catalog/ Judy Jetson blog from last week (5/29) if you haven't already, and read below for my NBA FINALS PREDICTIONS!!!

DALLAS IN 6

So the NBA finals are here and I was 50 percent on my predictions. I gotta admit, Detroit fell the fuck apart and made me look dumb. My original prediction in November was for Miami to take the East, I shoulda stood by that. But with the inconsistency of the role players and the lack of chemistry...I thought it was a wrap for Miami. I thought D Wade would get triple teamed, Shaq would foul out and the role players would vanish. But they proved me wrong and as I've always said, D Wade is a damn beast. A Bo$$ Hog Barbarian. The flu game just adds to the steez, although Jordan will be remembered more for his. I knew the Suns couldn't stop the Mavs. Too much firepower, and a matchup with a seven foot jumpshooter with a newly developed slashing game is like a fade in 1998. You don't want a part in it. Dirk and that bad mullet went and David Hasselhoffed these dudes out the gym. The guards ran with the Suns. Avery Johnson and Jason Terry's old school fades got higher up and tighter. Erik Dampier became even more of a burger, but they still bustin everbody's ass. Includin Miami. The matchups are interesting here. The Spurs woulda bored me to sleep, the Pistons been there the last 2 years and the Suns would run too fuckin much. But I like this here. Shaq will M.O.P goon on any Mavs frontcourt player they put in there and D Wade will embarass whoever they put on him. But then again, Dirk will do the same to "Tippy Toes", Haslem or whoever they put on him. Terry and White Chocolate are evely matched, but Terry is way more consistent. I love the fact that Devin Harris lived with 2 broads in college like Jack fuckin Tripper, but I also love the fact that Gary Payton rolls with E-40 and talks so much shit and is probably gonna work at Sick Widdit Records helping the hyphy movement when he retires. Both coaches have great haircuts that are outdated for their given ethnicity by a minimum of 12 years. Mark Cuban is the best owner EVER. But my man Stan Van Gundy looks like Ron Jeremy. I love this. 2 teams evenly matched in my eyes, but at the end of the day the Mavs are too deep. And something tells me that there will be no answer for Captain Dirk. We'll see....