BACK IN THE MIX!!!!!!

After takin a well deserved summer vacation from the Hot Sauce column, we're back! There ain't much basketball to comment on in the summer anyway, so fuck it. Zone was out fine tuning his jumper and running on the beach to keep up with these youngans. But as long as theres a tad bit of basketball news, we might as well speak on it...

- THE U.S. CHOKES AGAINST GREECE

I really think this is sad. The cockiness of the U.S. is ever present, but y'all better not lose when you talk that "bring home the gold" shit...especially not to Greece. Greece bust our ass, well, not really. Carmelo Anthony is just a bozo. May be the most overrated player in the NBA in my opinion, next to Stephon Marbury. And speakin of Stephon...

- THOSE NEW $15 MARBURY SNEAKERS

...are horrific. I'd rather rock Etonics or flourescent LA Gears. I think its dope to have some affordable kicks out so kids stop killin each other over $100 Jordans. But I also think they shouldn't look like orthopedic shoes. And I also think Marbury should be training instead of promoting a sneaker line. Let's not forget "the best point guard in the NBA" never got a ring and he was one of the main culprits in the worst season in Knick history. MSG should be re-named The Slaughterdome...and not New York's favor either.

UNDERRATED ALBUM(S) OF THE MONTH

UGK: TOO HARD TO SWALLOW (1992 BIG TYME/ JIVE RECORDS)

Let's face it. UGK is finally gettin what they deserve with the release of Pimp C from jail...and that guest spot on Mr. Shawn Carter's album a few years back didn't hurt either. But I stll feel their debut album was their tour de force. Supertight was amazing, as was Ridin Dirty, but this album was the low budget, country and pimpish sound that Rap-A-Lot made famous. You almost couldn't believe this was released by the same label that would become a boy band haven 10 years later. "I'm So Bad (I Can Suck My Own Dick)" may be the best rap song ever made (with a choice LL sample on the hook) and can serve as an anthem of how we really don't need these chickenhead broads. Pimp C was Frigidaire on this one, ruthless over the top misogyny with the twangiest southern drawl I have ever heard. ("Biotch, yo mama suck a meeeeaaaaan ass dick!"). Don't take it too serious...but damn this is ign'ant rap at its finest. I could really stop there, but "Cocaine In The Back Of The Ride" scores big with some classic rhymes about shooting some out of line girl in the titties. "Pocket Fulla Stones" and "I Feel Like I'm The One That's Doin Dope" are early 90's classics...those that know, know.
Any young Pimp C fans need to revisit this, cause it's Pimp and Bun at their finest (and rawest).


INTELLIGENT HOODLUM (TRAGEDY): INTELLIGENT HOODLUM (1990 A&M RECORDS)

Fresh outta jail, Trag's debut was part Malcolm X, part Queensbridge knucklehead. He holds it down with a variety of topics, but to be honest, this album is all about beats. Although it wasn't groundbreaking, it featured a young Large Professor on some grimy SP-1200 shit, with Marley putting in a few bangers from an underrated era for him. Post Juice Crew peak but pre-R&B remix. "Trag Invasion" may have the best ol school drum sounds post "PSK" and "Dopeman" and "Party Animal" "Party Pack" and "Microphone Check" all bring dusty 45 sampling to new heights. Even the "single material", "Back To Reality" was hype (yea, I use slang from that era when I discuss these albums). The "Arrest The President Remix" was CRAZY! But it's only a rare "12. The album version is some sparse Bomb Squad shit, but it still hits. I used to rock this tape hard in 8th grade (1990, I'm on that rap senior citizen shit), but it's a shame the most buzz it got was when Will Smith name dropped it on an episode of Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air. The CD is like $50 on Amazon, good luck.


OL SCHOOL BROAD OF THE MONTH: JENNY WILLIS FROM THE JEFFERSONS

I was watching the Jeffersons all weekend and started to notice how fine this chick was. I never noticed before. Lionel Jefferson was a lucky bastard, he was in them drawers. I dunno what she's doing now, but she seems like the type of girl to still look good after all these years (like Thelma from Good Times or Pam Grier). Jenny Willis, wherever you at, this Budz 4 u!!! Watch the Jeffersons, don't sleep!.

Bring on the hate!!!...and peace til next time....

J-Zone aka Mr. Don't Holla aka Chief Chinchilla aka Kenny Hoggins (Captain Back$lap, Tom Jones of Rap and 2006 Bobby Brown are about to retire)