"Guess who's back in the muthafuckin house, witta fat dick for yo muthafuckin mouth! Ho's recognize, niggaz do too!!"


ALBUM OF THE MONTH

SUGA FREE: FEATURES VOLUME 2

Everybody knows I'm a big Suga Free fan, so this shouldn't come as a surprise. But I had to award him this. Everybody also knows that Suga Free rhymes about straight pimpin 24/7-365. But never have I heard a 32 track opus of consecutive machine gun pimp talk. I mean there is absolutely NO detour from the subject of ice cold pimpin WHATSOEVER. The shit is hilarious and full of Free's best one liners, all of which are features on other people's songs or are unreleased solo tracks. "Pimpin in the Year 3000" may be the best song title of the new millenium and even everybody's most hated MC, Lil Jon, sounds like a Top 10 MC on "Bitches Ain't Shit". Nate Dogg is at his best on that same song, and when Free brags of pimpin thru a Ouiji board and stabbin a ho with a Dayton spoke on "I Would", you realize that there is not a wittier and more entertaining MC recording today.

OL SCHOOL BROAD OF THE MONTH

HOLLY ROBINSON-PEETE
Don't front like you didn't watch 21 Jump Street on straight boner mode. She married a football player who would whup my ass if I tried to scoop her now, but lets just say in the late 80's she was every pre-teens wet dream. Holly, we salute you...for our puberty!

GET OVER IT..."THIS FAD GOTTA GO" OF THE MONTH

This is a new one for Hot Sauce, so we'll start out basic. Everybody knows about my "Don't Holla" shirts and attitude. And how much I despise the phrase "holla". So not only am I gonna disrespect that shit in this very column, I will now delete all myspace comments with the word "holla" from here on out and will not answer people tellin me to "holla" at them. Just say "get at me", or "lemme know what's up". "Holla" is like sayin' "thats like totally rad dude!" Same equivalent. DON'T HOLLA! EVER!!!!

NBA TRASH TALK: ONE WEEK IN

THE NBA...ONE WEEK IN
It's the 50th anniversary of Orville Redenbacher popcorn, but it's on and poppin in the NBA too. One week in, here are my Top 10 random thoughts...

1. In 3 weeks Kobe will be back destroying everybody, he just has injury return rust. Sorry, I gotta keep it real.

2. I'm scared to see how dominant LeBron James wlll be at age 25. The dunk he put on Tim Dunkan was just abusive. Ol Timmy looked like Micheal Jackson gettin mobbed on by one of his pet chimps. LeBron is a BEAST!

3. I heard all that "Gilbert Arenas is overrated" talk after he failed to break double digits in the opener vs. the Cavs. But everybody got real quiet when he put up 40 something the next day. Ssssssssshhhh!

4. Is it me, or does it seem like the older AI gets, the more unstoppable he is? I thought the looming fate of his 30's would slow his roll, but that man is a problem. He'll be 42 breakin dudes...now if we could only get him traded to a better squad. That 3-0 win percentage won't last....believe me.

5. I dunno, I still feel Melo is pretty overrated. If u disagree, you're either from Denver, Syracuse or Baltimore...or your name is Lala.

6. I know it's early, but I got a strange feeling that Orlando and the Lakers will be in the playoffs.

7. Marcus Williams is the TRUTH. And the NJ Nets, if they stay healthy, will compete right along with Miami, Detroit and Cleveland in the East Semis.

8. Returning champions always get cocky. That embarrasing thrashing at the hands of the Bulls was an aborration for the Miami Heat. But I WILL say that Chicago is on the rise, will be fun to watch and could be a wild card for the East semis. They mad young, but if they stay togteher...mark my word. The Bulls are in it.

9. Shut up about the new ball already. It may suck, but the shit is still round, orange and has seams. Get used to it.

10. And yes, as a navive New Yorker, I must say that it's business as usual at MSG. The Knicks once again suck ass. They have a few good players like Quentin Richardson, David Lee, Channing Frye and Nate Robinson. But when you have the Coney Island Hot Dog running your offense, a bonehead coach and GM and a center as slow and useless as Curry, you're in Compton with a klan suit on. Toast. Either Indiana is the reincarnation of the 92 Bulls, or the Knicks have the worst team chemistry since the first episode of the Whiteshadow. They play the Spurs tonight, and for the first time in my life I'm hoping the Spurs trample them to the point we see benchwarmers in the first quarter. I long to hear the boos 22 miles away from my living room window. NY Knicks=DRECK and even if they win, don't get used to it. A 37 game losing streak will follow. Cow dung.