"Fuck rap, you can have it back!" - Dr. Dre

Being I'm taking December off from music (except for one DJ gig), it's only right I spend some time on my social commentary and NBA bloggin'. Last Hot Sauce of 2006 (actually there's 3 NBA Blogs in a row in one update), just scroll down let's rock!!!

SLEPT ON ALBUM OF THE MONTH

DOUBLE XX POSSE: PUT YA BOOTS ON

Sometimes all you need to make your day is boomin beats and rambunctious rhymes. Being I'm a stickler for over the top antics, off the wall beats and all things off the beaten path (and this column usually focuses on obscure southern and west coast gangsta rap from the early 90's), it can be said that me puttin up this album is a little odd. But as a early 90's rap afficionado, you know I love it all. Double XX was the shit. Damn sure not rocket science, it was simple locker room boasting, a few topics, street ass beats and attitude. T-Ray was another underrated dope producer from that era that is consistently being overlooked. He was diggin hard in the crates and choppin somethin fierce. This album wasn't groundbreaking, but you need that every so often. If you missed the boat, you will pay. Literally. It's like $40 used on CD these days. "Headcracker" was the anthem for havin a bad day back in '92, "Girls Be Frontin" is self-explanatory and will stand the test of time (especially for my ass) and "Put Ya Boots On", "Pure Thing", "Executive Class" and "Get Mines Or Get Naked" were pre-football game anthems for me back in my high school jock days. The beats!!! We can't forget the hit "Not Gonna Be Able To Do It" either. I will still use that hook when some dumb bitch I don't know asks me for a drink at the bar.

"Naah baby I'm not gonna be able to DOIT!"

DON'T HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OLD SCHOOL BROAD OF THE MONTH

LAUREN VELEZ from NY UNDERCOVER & I LIKE IT LIKE THAT

I Like It Like That was the shit and NY Undercover is one of them shows that you know is corny (the dialog was awful), but you still watch it for a variety of reasons. 1, to see your favorite rapper play a terrible cameo role. 2, to see your favorite 90's "hood movie" actors on prime time TV. And finally...LAUREN VELEZ! A Latina cutie with AFD (ass for days). She ain't really old school, cause NY Undercover is only 12 years old (Has it been that long? Damn!). But these new jacks don't know...everybody was about Lauren back then. At least every dude I knew. Lauren, this Bud's for you...wherever you may be. Come back and show these young rathead broads how its done!


"THIS SHIT GOTTA GO" FAD OF THE MONTH

My feelings are so strong on this, I'll repeat it from last month's update. No, it has nothing to do with laziness. I just think producers need to take heed...and this shit is getting tired.

I usually use this column to complain about fashion, fads, sayings and general lifestyle faux pas that are popular but suspect. I will never speak on hiphop here, but this one time I just have to. Producers...please try to do something besides the sped up soul sample and that finger snap snare that everybody else uses. I hate to complain about this because wasting time giving ink to something this trivial hurts me, but I mean EVERY beat I hear is that same formula. I'm not even hatin, just try something slightly different for once. I can almost predict every beat to be a 4 bar loop of some Motown joint on 78RPM with that same snare everytime. Break some rules if even for one beat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



SPECIAL EDITION NBA BLOG

GIRLFIGHT!!!! (12.20.06)

OK, OK. I was gonna end my NBA Trash Talk for 2006 on last weeks Top 5 Random Thoughts note. But after numerous requests and hearing everybody elses "expert opinions", I feel it's time for some real talk. Here's a few valid points...

1. That "brawl" was planned. Not a misprint. Isiah damn near used it as an excuse for the Nuggets runnin the score up. With the Knicks in the toilet, what a better way to divert attention from the fact that these dudes can't hang than with an over the top brawl-inducing flagrant. With another smacking in the works and Coach Karl trying to run it up and rub it in, a flagrant foul of that force was all the Knicks needed to get some beef cooking and a result of the frustration. What a better pawn than Mardy Collins aka Sgt. Splinters (read: bum benchwarmer) to take the rap. With all this controversy about the brawl, everybody forgot that they are a crap team and were gettin their asses handed to em once again. It bought the Knicks 2-3 weeks of reduced media and fan assault (for the way they play at least) with more focus on the repercussions. The only time the fans cheered was during that little cat fight, so they gave the fans their money worth the first time all year. They pulled a nice buzzerbeater win last night against Utah, but it got overshadowed in the media, so the plan sorta backfired. Knicks lose again...ultimately.

2. Stop givin Melo credit. I never liked dude. I admitted recently that he been ballin his ass off. Credit due, I'm not a hater unnecessarily, he's been on fire basketball wise. But he's always been somewhat of a pretty boy type player, not my style. He caught Collins, then did the Moonwalk like MJ in '82. Give Melo a sequin glove and a can of Pepsi. He's a lover not a fighter. I don't like Collins, but that was a sucker punch...then he looked like they were rewinding old Carl Lewis sprint footage. Stop snitching? Naaah, stop moonwalking.

3. People are comparing this to Auburn Hills. Fuckouttahere. NOBODY in this fight is 1/4 as thorough as Ron Artest, Steven Jackson, Ben Wallace, the Pistons and Pacers cheerleaders, Jamaal Tinsley (he grabbed a supersweeper and threatened a fan with it...classic) or Jermaine O'Neal. There was never any real danger except when Nate and JR spilled to the front row. I ain't condoning the brawling, but I think David Stern needs a scare. He wants to put the NBA in a corner and quarrantine it from everything "urban", but continue to collect most of the NBA revenue from urban youth. Fights like this scare that punk and he sees his corporate investors start to clam up. Fuck that mothafucka. I say more barbarianism, if only to keep that dude on a tightrope. Cause ultimately he don't give a fuck about the players or the fans anyway, so put his punk ass in the poorhouse.

4. Isiah is a "jerk" to quote George Karl. I say a "bitch" cause I'm not so PC. He justified the flagrant cause his team gave up and looked like a track fulla hoes in their own gym for the 10th time this season. Everywhere he's gone, he's ruined teams and entire leagues. He was never fined and I'm not saying he deserved a direct fine, but he's just a jackass and I'd prefer he be fired than fined. Or have to endure "fire Isiah" chants and boos for 30 something more games.

5. Notice that my boy Earl Boykins wasn't involved? Cause he's 5 foot 5 and woulda bust everybody ass in that fight. Nobody wants to get knocked out by a little dude, and he benches 400 pounds. Earl WILL lay your ass out real smooth. He's the realest dude on either team, and had that been Earl goin up for a layup, this blog would have never happened. Mardy Collins and Nate Robinson just know better.

OUT for 2006!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(12.11.06)...TOP 5 THOUGHTS!

I know my last installment was too recent for another, but too much went down last week for me to keep quiet. I'm on a roll. I'm the light skinned Stephen A. Smith...or the black Tim Legler, however the fuck you call it. I'll make you a deal. I'll only do 5 thoughts for this special edition column.

5. For once, living in the NY area with no NBA League Pass doesn't mean I miss out on all the good regular season games not on ESPN or TNT. That Suns/Nets game last week was a homicide case. Fuck all you purists, say it now...

"Oh of course these dudes gonna drop over 300 points total, there wasn't no defense bein played"

True, I've seen more D in a game of Nok Hockey. But with the onslaught of 85-73 games this year with a definition of wreckin shop bein 30 and 7 (points and dimes or boards respectively), you can't say that wasn't a show. Ain't seen a showdown like that Nash v. Kidd in a bit. Maybe the LeBron/D Wade showdown on April Fools, but EVERYBODY was beastin this time. Nobody could miss and despite the lassiez faire defense, this is what people wanna see. Bill Lambeer is gracefully retired, so until we find his successor, this is what we live for. As for Nash and Kidd, it was like that last scene in the Last Dragon with Sho' Nuff and Bruce Leroy. With "The Glow" tradin back and forth...and like Eddie Arcadian said "This is an exclusive!". Steve Nash proved he's the best PG in the league and J Kidd proved he's one of the best in history. Chris Paul is the future. No other PG's in discussion. When you can't pick who you want to win, you just want em to keep pourin the shit on...that's a game. God bless the YES Network. And Across the Hudson River in NY....



4. Gilbert, Antwan and the Wizards light the Knicks the fuck up. Royally. It was almost like when the Carver High team played the Harlem Globetrotters in that one episode of the Whiteshadow (all my old school dudes stand up!) Not hard to do, with the exception of a few players, the Knicks are king "No D" culprits. The problem is they don't answer the baskets they allow. But check this soundbite...

"I'm the best PG in the league"...copyright 2005 Stephon "$15 Orthopedic Sneaker" Marbury.

Y'all seen them Starbury sneakers? I give him credit for givin em to every high school player in the city for free, but I wouldn't play a game of Backgammon in them shits, so there's nothin to do BUT give them away. Not to mention it helps his image in the eyes of the forgiving and naive, good PR. Them Mr. Belvedere ass sneakers are worth maybe $3.34 after tax. But anyway back on topic, I can't get that staement out my head. When Marbury proclaimed he was the best PG in the NBA then got Billy Ho'ed by J Kidd the same night...that was major for me. I was a Marbury supporter thru it all. The overrated claims at G Tech, the me vs. KG ego bullshit in Minnesota, the failure in NJ, the futile results with all the right tools in Phoenix...but something about how that "I'm the best PG" shit and the smacking he faced transpired. Never been the same. I even bigged him up on my A Job Ain't Nuthin But Work album. But at this point I don't think there's a bigger buster in the NBA. Real talk. I'd rather run Kwame Brown at PG. Or Kwame the rapper even...



3. With all the J Kidd/Nash praise and Starbury criticism, I gotta shed light on those in the same games that were overlooked. True the Knicks are trash but nobody can hide the fact that Gilbert Arenas is a machine. He's serious and I just know he'll break 50 a few times this season. If the BBQing of the Knicks wasn't enough, he put the smackdown on a distraught Sixers squad that was actually on the way to blowin the game open. No no. I don't know what was worse, the thought of AI skippin, or Gilbert just puttin Mo Cheeks defensive sets on the Foreman Grill. And yes, the duel of the iron PG's was classic, but lets not forget...



2. Boris Diaw was one of the major factors in that game. Let's not forget there was a winner and a loser and he put in work in the final minutes to seal the shit for the Suns. Boris Diaw is also the underrated player of the update. His inside/outside game is Ike Turner pimp game smooth. BD doin it.



1. You knew it was coming. I did. Shit, I put it in my NBA Preview for The Source magazine. AI demands a trade. Call me DiZone Warwick, psychic ball network. Haha, but on the real it didn't take Doogie Howser b-ball IQ to know this was comin. The truth? He shoulda demanded a trade in 2002, cause that was the last time Philly had a resaonable shot. We know what he can do, what he deserves (a ring!) and what his body can possibly take in the next few years of his career (if he is just the slightest bit human). I ain't wastin no more time on shit we all know, but here's a deal/trade I think can possibly go down for AI....

Minnesota gets AI for Randy Foye (Philly needs youth and scoring), Mike James (Philly needs a PG), Ricky Davis (those 2 cannot co-exist although it would be the funniest and most exciting shit ever) and some type of draft pick. There's a few teams he can go to and a million options, but I think that makes sense. Another team that may land him is New Orleans, thats my wildcard pick. Let's just see how it pans out. I'm out like Isiah Thomas' whole shit (fashion, job, mind, personality, etc.)...


TOP 10 RANDOM NBA THOUGHTS (12/5/06)

Here we go again. 4 days late but I was born 9 days early so I get a pass...

10. OK, so my NBA Preview is in the current issue of The Source. But I have to put this disclaimer: I didn't say Amare Stoudamire would drop 85 this season, I said Gilbert Arenas. That was a type error by the editor. Mistakes happen, and
Amare is getting his wheels back and doing well, but that just cannot happen on a team with as much firepower as the Suns and without at least 8 3 pointers (which Amare wouldn't dare if he didn't want COach D'Antoni's foot in his ass). Sorry.


9. OK, so my prediction of Quincy Douby being an amazing rookie was quite off. But keep in mind he's getting no PT cause NONE of us knew that Kevin Martin was gonna be the player he is. I knew he was a beast last year, but he's makin people look
retarted out there. Awkward ass shooting form and all. He's that dude, he's the real fuckin deal. He needs to bring the old school fade down to a taper though, haha.


8. Who's really a threat in 4 months that's on a surprising roll now?

-Orlando Magic? Hell yeah. Dwight Howard is a fuckin all star, Jameer Nelson and Keyon Dooling are underrated point guards, Grant Hill is still ballin and the role players are good. Orlando is the real deal.

-Atlanta Hawks? Joe Johnson is an amazing shooter on the come up and Josh Smith is straight showtime. But I don't think they'll be a playoff threat. Then again, the East is wide open.

-Utah Jazz? Hmmm. Imma catch a lot of hate for this. I think they'll definitely be in the playoffs, but that West finals/west semi's talk is a little extreme. I think they're out in the first round and I explain in #4. It has more to do with their competition than their talent.

-Houston Rockets? They'll make the playoffs as a 7 or 8 seed. But I think they're one and done. Their problem is timing. When T-Mac was healthy and more explosive, Yao was a new jack and a soft pretzel. Now that Yao is much improved and on a roll, T-Mac doesn't look the same. From somebody who has that same back injury that T-Mac has, its some painful shit. So I can see him being hesitant to do D-Wadelike body sacrificing plays. Then again, the dude makes 50 gazillion a year, so he gotta either go all out or take the time off. He seems to settle for a lot of jumpers, more now than ever. Luther Head is a great shooter, Alston is much improved. But Yao can't do ot inside alone. Live by the "J" and die by the "J".


7. Who was expected to dominate but is playing sub-par?

-Miami Heat? Damn. As old as Shaq is, now you see the difference. The Heat are a team built for April-June. They turn it up. But losing a nailbiter Pistons
match up they could have sealed and gettin smacked by the Knicks are inexcusable. The east is so open, I think they'll be there in the spring with a lower seed and maybe turn it up then. But They NEED another scorer. Dorell Wright is comin up and D-Wade is D-Wade. But the rumors of getting Corey Magette I hope are true because they could use some offense. J Will hasnt been the same since the knee problems and the rest of their offense is either streaky (Posey, Walker)or outright trash (Koppono). Somebody gotta go. I think this team's fate is decided by the February trade deadlines and Shaq's production. Period.

-NJ Nets? The Atlantic is so weak, they'll be in the playoff run. They havent been playin to the level of their talent. Maybe its the release of the Jay-Z album
distracting the front office, I dunno. They had an abyssmal November, but I think RJ, Vince and Marcus will warm up and they will split from the rest of the Atlantic
Division. It will just take time.

-N.O. Hornets? They hit a slump but don't count em out. For one, the East is wide open. Second, Chris Paul. I think they will step up and get a 5,6 or 7 seed. Did
I say Chris Paul? Best PG in the NBA. Period.

-Chicago Bulls? Another team I thought would ball, but ain't doin much. Like I said, the east is open. 8 seed. But then again its so early in the season, fuck all this
seed talk. I think they can make the playoffs still if they gel...quickly.


6. Underrated player of the week: Monta Ellis of the Warriors. Yaaay Arreeeea! They got SCRAPED by the Spurs last night though. Haha. Embarassing.


5. Hate me/him all yall want. But I told you about Kobe. He's the best individual player in the NBA. Will he get a ring in '07? No. Is he the best team player/ all around player? He's getting better, but no. But when ya'll have the nerve to tell me that he's not the most talented player in the NBA right now, you on the rock (and I don't mean on the ball). Does his personality leave a lot to be desired? Yeah, but ain't nobody stoppin Kobe...and I DARE y'all to say his perfect third quarter against the Jazz was luck. That dude was ballin on niggaz!


4. And speakin of the Jazz...I dunno. Don't get me wrong, they're good in a Pistons kind of way. No specific superstar, blue collar ballin, great teamwork and a lot of able players. Williams, Millsap, Boozer, AK-47 and a good coach. But for some reason I don't see them getting out the first round. The Laker game was a fluke (losin by 30, mostly due to Kobe goin off), but I still think people are out of control sayin they final 4 in the West. I think one of the LA teams will be the wildcard in the West Semi's, with the Mavs, Spurs and Suns in the other 3 spots. We'll see.


3. OK I'll admit it (hater check part 1)...I'm STILL not a Melo fan, but where credit is due, I will give it and be fair. Carmelo is KILLIN dudes. Fuck it, I can't hide the truth. Can he turn me into a fan? I doubt it. But shit, he's on a roll. Acknowledgement.


2. OK I'll admit it (hater check part 2)...Yao Ming has been ballin his ass off. I never was a Yao fan. Never. But he looks like he's finally lost his feminine side and been doin what a 7'6 muthafucka should be doin. He's got those around the basket finesse moves that only Duncan has at the moment. I guess Patrick Ewing is helpin out down there. But Patrick, you should come back to the city where you built your legacy and help that big dinosaur Curry with his inside game...although I will say Curry played well the last few Knick games although...


1. The Knicks STILL suck. Dudes have moments. My man Nate with a block on Yao and a hilarious failed self-oop attempt in a game, Q Rich is still my dude and has his moments. Lee doin dirty work. Crawford has a shot here and there then does something dumb. Balkman is high energy and actually the most efficient player we have despite the fact he was foolishly drafted by punk ass Isiah too early. They get within 3 points. My grandmoms be hollerin and screamin and rubbin it in my face. But I stay calm. Cause in the final 2:45, Francis will turn the rock over, Crawford will shoot a retarted fuckin three pointer, Curry will airball some free throws and Marbury will get some fuckin Lincoln High flashback and do some bonehead shit and turn it over. And the boooooos abound! I win again. It's not that I wanna see these dudes lose. I'm an NY native stupid. The Knicks practiced at my college in the 90's (SUNY Purchase). I live in Jamaica Queens where basketball is unavoidable. Knick legend
Anthony Mason went to Springfield Gardens High School right up the block. Greg Anthony in the 92 Knicks brawl made me a b-ball fan for life, the Knicks ruled back in the day. I'd love to support my home team. But it's impossible to win when your point guard doesn't have the respect of the team, or the fans, or the media. When
it seems like this organization refuses to put together the right pieces but still has the fuckin audacity to have the highest ticket prices in the NBA. Fuck yall! My beef is really more with the front office than anybody. Y'all owe New York a playoff squad, real talk. And until we get it, Imma run my fuckin mouth and cheer the visiting team all fuckin day. Fuck you James Dolan, my cable rates is up and my hometeam is 2-7 at home? Fuck that, I'm booin my ass off. 8 years in the doldrums, no excuses. Reggie "Knick Killer" Miller for president.