Back in the building like house arrest!


SLEPT ON ALBUM OF THE MONTH

REDHEAD KINGPIN: A SHADE OF RED (1989)

OK, it ain't the obscure gangsta rap gem that I'm known to pull out monthly. But I kinda looked this brother when I had my flattop in junior high. And Nas just put him on the "Where Are They Now?" Remix and a lotta folks never heard of him, so Imma put y'all on to a slept on more lighthearted rap album. This was 1989, when rap was fun enough to make me wanna get involved. Even gangsta rap was fun. And Red had 3 albums that Virgin Records never pushed...this one, the follow up to this (The Album With No Name) and his group project Private Investigators that went nowhere despite scorching beats. Teddy Riley was hot at the moment and gave Red some New Jack Swing flavored minor hits for Shade Of Red, but Red was no joke behind the boards. He produced Wrecks-N-Effect's debut full length album and he had some raw hiphip beats. The rhymin was simple skillful boasting but the beats were so slept on. I swear he was the first to use the "Bam Bam" loop, the samples were dusty and the drums were hard as hell. The instrumental "Redhead One" is as grimy a beat you could get back then and sounds like it could fit in on "To Love A Hooker", "Donuts" or any other recent beat album. Don't let the smooth taste, clean flattop, positive message and red suit fool you. This album had beats. And the rhymes were still solid and better than just about everything out today by a country mile. But he was comepting with more complex MC's like Kane and G Rap and more catchy MC's like Fresh Prince, Young MC and even Kwame...so Red kinda fell below the radar. But I never stopped bumpin this album...and its dope to work out to haha. If Red reads this, drop a line even though I can't get you the exposure Nas can haha.


OL SCHOOL LADY OF THE MONTH

Sybil Buchannan (The principal from "The Whiteshadow"). I think her name is Joan Pringle.

Don't laugh. She was maybe in her 30's when I was born and this show was on. But nonetheless this is my favorite TV show of all time (google it if u don't know) and principal Buchannan was the older disciplinarian that the students thought was fine but she was off limits. One episode, a student tried to put a move on her. Its like a Pam Grier thing where a much older woman makes you say "Dayum!". But she was way less provocative than Pam. She could be my mother in terms of age (so could Pam Grier), so this ain't an "I wanna get with you, call me" Old School Broad of the Month column. It's a more classy respectful one. Thus I called this one Ol School Lady Of The Month, not Ol School Broad like I usually do. To Joan Pringle, you forever remain the secret crush of thousands of Whiteshadow fans and will be so for generations to come thanks to the DVD reissue of The Whiteshadow. Salute!


NBA TRASH TALK

I kinda like the idea of only doing 5 Random NBA thoughts, but posting them
more frequently. Makes an easier read. And I can spend more time ODin on whoever is in my crosshairs. Lemme post this up amidst all the Superbowl talk.


5. Even being the gold medal Knick hater I am, I'll give credit where it's due. Jamal Crawford's 52 point sharpshooting bucket fest was a joy to watch. But let's be real. My name is Sgt. Killjoy, so I gotta step in and say the Heat played "D" like a bunch of crossing guards, and I don't mean quick dibbling point men. They just waited til the coast was clear and let him walk right through. Crawford is a streaky offensive player and can get real hot, not taking that away. And his crossover is killer. But c'mon. And it goes both ways. The Heat drubbing the Knicks earlier in the week with a delpeted line up was a joke too. Jason Kappono can shoot, but you mean to tell me they couldn't contain him? He's about as quick as Mr. Belvedere with a tray of hot muffins. The point here being for the most part the East is lame dawg. There's a lot of talent, but people are just lettin the score get run up until after All-Star break, when the season is at stake. And yes, I will now admit that the Knicks have some potential to be a good team (gasp now, I actually said it). Especially in the Craplantic division. But point blank, Isiah Thomas and his toe up eyebrows (he belogs with the Spurs for those) and his "star" guards Steph and Francis will prevent me from liking that team. Those 3 make an exit? I'll be rockin my orange and blue again. A Caddy with a bad engine still aint a luxury car. Solid and respected point guards win championships. Period.

4. One man scoring in bunches who will NOT see his average drop at any point this season is Mr. Arenas. He just won't be denied. C'mon, the dude has an air pressure chamber in his crib. That man is dangerous. And I would give you my last serving of collard greens to see Arenas go up against Mike Krysewski and his poop butt Duke squad and score 80. This blog is not really about NCAA hoops, but I feel the need to go off on a totally unnecesary tangent and express my distaste for Duke basketball again. Coach K is a bum, the uni's suck and I don't like any Duke player past present or future not named Corey Magette or Elton Brand. This shit ain't Hoosiers. Take that monkey shit off, you embarrasin us. Heels all day! So I support Gilbert Areneas' cocky challenge and I'd rather see him BBQ Duke for dolo than see the entire All-Star Weekend.

3. All-Star Weekend is creeping upon us. I hear the talk already. Who's gonna win the skills? The dunk? The 3 point shot? I'll elaborate on that next week, but for now what I wanna know is who's catchin a charge, and I don't mean against Dwayne Wade to get to the stripe. I've only been to Vegas once and it ain't my thing, but I can see what trouble lurks for a big time ballin pro athlete. Gamblin, hoes, drugs, hoes, alcohol, hoes....Somebody is gettin busted with more than just the hotel cleaning lady. So we'll take a poll. Post a response to this blog in who you think is most likely to wind up in cuffs. Be it cops cuffs, a dominatrix cuffs or both!


2. Speakin of the All-Star Weekend, I must further go off on the ho-etry displayed in the voting. Ironically, my biggest beef is with a player I like. I can't get over Shaq getting in this game as a starter. He played 6 games, and didn't do much of anything in any of them. Meanwhile Emeka Okafor, Dwight Howard, Ben Wallace...shit, even Eddy Curry (yea I said it) woulda been more deserving although he plays crossing guard "D" and isn't exactly a model for consistency. He'd be before Shaq though. Pretty much any center in the east not named Jason Collins coulda been there instead. I may as well present to you The Zone Choice NBA All-Star team and reserves. Just my opinion

EAST

G- Dwayne Wade
G- Gilbert "Hibachi the Duke Killa" Arenas
F- LeBron James
F- Chris Bosh
C- Dwight Howard

Reserves: Jason "J-Zone Look-alike" Kidd, Micheal Redd (injured- replace with Ben "Money Earnin Mt.Vernon" Gordon), Rip Hamilton, Caron Butler and Jermaine O'Neal.

Wildcards: Vince Carter and Ben Wallace


WEST

G- Steve Nash
G- Kobe "Stop snitching on Shaq" Bryant
F- Dirk Nowitzki
F- Kevin "You Ain't Gonna Fight, so don't throw the ball at McDeyss" Garnett
C- Amare Stoudemire

Reserves: Tony "Quit Rappin, Pimp Eva" Parker, Ray "Jesus" Allen, Josh Howard, Tim "Razor Sharp Hairline" Duncan and Zack "Eddie From Family Matters" Randolph. Zack is so underrated.

Wildcards: Allen Iverson and Kevin Martin

Just my opinion


1. In 1999 there was an NBA player lockout. In 2007 there should be a fan lockout. It's a 2007 episode of Roots. Stu Jackson and David Stern have succeeded in making the NBA their very own plantation and have begun robbing the blue collar fans that blow their last dollar to support this league. The suspension on Kobe Bryant was perhaps the biggest travesty of this season. Kobe's elbow on THE BIGGEST FLOPPER IN THE NBA since Vlade Divac retired (Manu Ginobili) deserved at most a flagrant. But not only is it a one game suspension, but they wait until a crowd of eager New Yorkers had already dropped half their week's pay to see him batter the Knicks and they pull him from his only NY appearance this season. Knick fan or not, we all wanted to see Kobe drop the hammer that day, and the NBA robbed us of that when it was too late to redeem the overpriced tickets. I suggest every fan that paid to see that game demand their fuckin money back. You mean to tell me that they couldn't make that ruling at the time of the foul? It took 40 hours for you to decide that it was flagrant enough to pull him from the next game? If it was that bad a foul, his suspension would have already been a topic on PTI less than a day later. Not even a hearing before the suspension. No. Because then they couldn't rob the fans with that last miute shit. But the NBA knew they'd already gotten peoples money and decided to pull the plug. They don't care that 90% of the fans are not Jack Nicholson or Spike Lee and a ticket can set you back a few weeks. Are most pro athletes overpaid and spoiled? Yeah. But they and the fans are responsible for the income of those 2 cock blowers Jackson and Stern. Not to mention these 2 DICKtators cash a check everytime a kid goes to the NBA store or buys an NBA jersey with money his mother doesn't really have. The least they could do is think of the fans for once and give back. I got no love for the suits in charge of the NBA and just for that, I cancelled my midseason NBA league pass order and just returned an NBA headband I bought for my little cousin for a plain Foot Locker joint. Sorry cuz, you'll have to get your mother to stitch a logo on there. Real fuckin talk.