WELCOME BACK TO HOT SAUCE!

Been a hot minute. Let it roll, get bold...

ALBUM OF THE UPDATE

Chunk: Still The Menace/ Chunk: Menace To The Game (EP)

I admit, as an avid fan of rare "gangsta rap" from the early 90's, I just stumbled across this in an MP3 blog recently. It's a CD I've seen in the past but miraculously never got around to. There was just too much good music out, but no time to reminisce. It has the makings of a personal J-Zone classic. Rude, brash and funky. Layered Sir Jinx style production, straight chaos. The music (especially on Still The Menace) sounds like Death Certificate out takes, if that makes any sense. While most would dismiss Chunk as random gangsta shit from that era. Groundbreaking? No. Entertaining and funky as all hell? Check and check again. The amazing "Party In The Morgue" reminds me of an old Lench Mob Beat. "Suckas" and "HB Street" musically remind me of old St.Ides commercials...I'm waitin for King T to step in with a witty verse about downin a cold one. And of course there's the crude humor. "Treat Em How They Act" is so hilariously rude (and production so ameteur), even ladies gotta crack a cheese. Same goes for "Dirty Hoes Don't Get Chose", "Janky Hoes" and "Ho I Wanna Poke Ya". I have no idea where Chunk is now, but here's a toast to an overlooked and enjoyable slice of that cherished time period in rap...and that'll cost you $40 on amazon.com, thank you very much.

OLD SCHOOL BROAD OF THE UPDATE

Tisha Campbell

Wow. When I first saw her in House Party at age 13, I just knew what my next wet dream would be. Too bad her co-star, Martin Lawrence, stole her and married her for his sitcom 2 years later. "Gina" was thick! Lucky ass Martin. And for all the hate, I woulda gave it to Pam too....and her homegirl Sharane from House Party as well. She just stayed around fine women. She was last seen doin her thing on Damon Wayans' show, so Tisha, wherever you are...this Bud's for you!


TOP 5 BASKETBALL THOUGHTS/ WHY WE CAN'T HAVE SHIT...

Sorry it's been a minute...and no I won't do any more blogs on the state of rap music haha. Whats said is done, let's move on...

5. Although I haven't been a big NCAA fan in about 5 years, I gotta say...I aint watchin shit this year in the way of college ball. I dunno. No George Masons, Cinderellateams are nowhere to be found. The only team I really followed this year (Arkansas) lost last week, so I lost intrest. But from what I've seen I will say this...Edgar Sosa is the truth. He may have blown that game for Louisville on that wild ass shot and missed freebies, but that dude is a serious baller. After seeing him score 32 points in a half in an AAU playoff game and havin the gym goin nuts and the fact that Louisville woulda got scraped without him...trustme, he'll be back. He's a freshman. Marinate on that. Although I must say...what the fuck is the deal with the free throws? Gotta be the most underratedskill in basketball. Ask Darius Washington. Deja Vu. Those freebies and his high school rivalry with Sebastian Telfair were his main claims to fame...Ouch. I can't even say whos gonna win.So I'll roll with Georgetown. But I will say is DUKE IS THE FUCKUPOUTTAHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Early!!! And that's all that matters to me! Oh, and there's no way Greg Oden is any younger than 27. His game, his look, the facial hair. No way. That's a grown man right there! Him and Kevin Durant...the draft should be pretty interesting.

4. And speakin of Telfair...It seems all ain't well in Beantown. He's not happy he ain't gettin the ball. I've been a Bassy fan since 2001 and he's a great talent, but it's proof of what some college experience will do. Rondo and West don't have some of the skills he has, but their experience makes them better NBA players. The position he was in, he hadto make the jump to pro to get that loot. Can't blame him. But I gotta say that making one year of college mandatory makes a difference in the game. True its NCAA greed(think of the $$$ they woulda pulled in with LeBron in the NCAA). But the Kwame Brown's and Telfair's in the NBA are far too many. And when Telfair's press in the last yearis restricted to his wardrobe, his wifeys burner in his gymbag and a beef with Fabolous...You watch "Through The Fire" and get the feeling that the honeymoon ends there. And when Chris Lowe (UMASS) from Mt. Vernon put the lockdown on Telfair in the Federation game en route to a feel good story monkey wrench...that game was mysteriously omitted from the movie. Hmmmmmmmmmm. And that burner in the gymbag shit...please. I'll elaborate more on that in Thought #1 down the page. I just hope he doesn't become the next undersized flashy guard with no jumper...I'm praying.

3. The regular season ends in 3 weeks, and fuck what anybody says. The MVP is Steve Nash...again. The best player in the NBA is Kobe...again.The Lakers ain't playing well enough to give Kobe the MVP, but Kobe's 4 straight 50 point games? The assists are up. Yall can hate all you want but c'mon! Best individual player in the NBA. Despite the corny Vanessa tatoos, bad rap records and hotel cleaning hoes. Don't give me LeBron talk right now...please. Unless you're from Cleveland. I like Gilbert too, but I don't wanna hear that unless you can walk to the White House in less than an hour. I love D Wade,and he's the runner up for this award, but I don't wanna hear that shit unless you know the 2 Live Crew personally. The MVP is Steve Nash and your opinions just don't matter! That 2OT thriller against Dallas was the best game this season. And even though Amare had 41, Nash won that game with the trey at the buzzer and his defensivemove throwin the ball off Jason Terry and gettin out the fuck out the way like Melo after the Mardy Collins punch. But if Melo was doin the moonwalk, Stevie was doin the cabbage patch. And the second best game of the season? Nash vs. Jason Kidd 20T game in December. Canadian ballers represent! Canadian customs agents eat a dick (I want my $150 back for my visa).

2. And speakin of Dallas...I FINALLY got to go to a Knick game last week and publicly show my disloyalty in front of a buncha delusional people (Knick fans). Let it be known I went for free in case you're callin me a hypocrite for my self-imposed NBA boycott afterStu Jackson and David Stern put on panties after the Kobe flagrant/suspension. Right behind the basket 5 rows up. And let it be known that after every Dallas basket I got up and did my "Zone Shuffle" dance while everybody sittin near mewas pourin on the hate. My girl was embarassed, but Knick hatin is my religion and I don't change that regardless of the house of worship. Dallas won 92-77 without saying, but heres a point I will make about each team that may surprise you.

a. The Knicks are a few players away from being a good team (for the East that is). No, you're not hallucinating. I said it. Ironically, the same players I hated on the Knicks for drafting are the ones that can make the team respectable in years to come.David Lee (injured last night) and Ronaldo Balkman both contribute the energy and tougness they need. Balkman is straight outta Madrid with his matador defense though. Nate Robinson is instant offense, as is Jamal Crawford when he gets healthy. Curry is a big fuckin dinosaur with decent post moves. But both Curryand Robinson have the defenside intensity of the 04 Mavs, but without the offense. And thats the problem! And they need a GOOD PURE POINT GUARD. Badly. It was sorry (for the crowd, but funny to me). Stevie "Franchise" dribbled off his foot a few times tryin to be Hot Sauce...looked more like ketchup...for hot dog play. OK that was corny but not as corny as Jared "Crystal Pepsi" Jeffries. He earned that nickname from me via earning 30 million and not playing well enough to make the Sunset Park team. And I'd take Rhea Pearlman as a coach over Isiah...and Fredro Starr at power forward over Jeffries. "Gotta represent!" Dolan, make some SENSIBLE fuckin offseason moves so I don't have to risk my life cheering the visiting team in MSG again next year.

b. I like the Mavs. I like em a lot. They have the best record in the NBA. But from I saw yesterday...I seriously doubt they will win the NBA title this year. One reason. The post. Erick Dampier can't get it done. He's a dinosaur and has his moments, but missing point blank layups that should be dunks in the first place ain't finna cut it. He doesn't command the boards like he should, and its even more evident in person. He said he was better than Shaq? Musta meant Radio Shaq. Dirk and Josh Howard are almost unstoppable. But whats the use when there's nobody to clean house underneath? Amare Stoud will eat Dampier's lunch. So will Tim Duncan, Yao Ming, Spike Lee, Paris Hilton and Gary Coleman. And that's a problem, unless he gets mean (which he can). Avery Johnson is still the man though! And they're a fun team to watch, still one of my faves. I got so much hatein the crowd...I felt like they must have been familiar with my music haha. Good ass time.

1. On a more serious semi-related sidenote. Or maybe I'm just getting older and I woulda found humor somewhere in this years ago. The whole brawl in Madison Square Garden after the high school Championship b-ball game thing on Sunday. Lincoln (Telfair and Marbury's alma matter) vs. Boys & Girls High School. 2 Brooklyn schoolswith a rivalry and a lot of history. You can expect some tension and trash talk, but its all in fun. The game was aight, but of course these punk knucklehead soft ass kids had to make the main attraction gang fights every 5 minutes. Little kids and families there in the middle of the melee, fights spillin out on the street, somebody workin in a nearby store got their hair pulled out, a gunshot went off. And it really had nothin to do with the game, just neigborhood. But its shit like this that makes me start to wonder...and stop feelin sorry for us not bein able to have shit. As an avid high school basketball fan, it'sa sad day for people like myself. From now on the championship game will not be played at MSG and tickets will only be sold to school staff, parents and students. The regular season games I frequent in my spare time are as good as done for regular spectators like myself. Especially since a brawl at a game earlier in the year ended one teams season completely after the riot squad was called in. This is all deja vu. I remember when rap shows slumped off for the same reason in the 90's. This is the chance for top talent to be seen/heard and the big time arenas don't want to be held accountable for bullshit that comes with it. Hiphop and basketball are street culture and undoubtedly bring a street element. Rowdyness is good. Rebellion is good. Street flair is good.But this whole gang mentality shit coming into sports is outta control...and when we don't have shit we wonder why. Some shit I would find humor in back in the day, all of a sudden doesn't seem so funny after it just hit me. I'm on the train the other day and I hear a middle aged dude in a suit reading the paper next to me just say "fuckin ghetto animals". I glance at the paper and low and behold its opened up to a page about the "Basket-Brawl", with young brothas in du-rags, handcuffs and "Brooklyn" t-shirts. Teenage cheerleaders at a high school game I went to recently did a routine to some freak ass song while they did their best tabledance moves. But they get upset when they get ran through and treated like hoes and sluts and called out on record by nuts like me. With unrest around my way with the Sean Bell situation and crooked cops getting away with murder since the beginning of time, dumb shit like this only makes it harder. If Joe Schmo is watching this shit on TV, he's thinking "what are people always complaining about police brutality for? I'm sure these animals deserve it, look at em." Perception is everything unfortunately. Sebastian Telfair gets on a plane with his girl's burner that cause he said "I grabbed her bag by mistake". Whatever dawg. Carmelo Anthony is a talented NBA player (although he don't play to his potential), but he appears in a Stop Snitchin DVD to keep up his street cred and assure money hasn't changed him. The Pac Man Jones (great name though) shit is outta control. And this has nothin to do with du-rags or tatoos despite what some think. But we have an NBA dress code indirectly because of shit like this. A lot of classy athletes have waves, rows and baggy ass clothes, so thats outta the question. What IS the question is when an asshole like David Stern sees this and gets scared and starts to enforce his slavemaster plantation mentality on the NBA. Anything street, hiphop, rugged or not reminiscent of the Jerry West days symoblizes a problem to him. And We no longer have a valid response to him despite the fact that it takes the edge off of the game. This is why we can't have shit...

Labels: 3/27/07