BY FAR THE GREATEST ALBUM COVER IN HISTORY





Man. I've seen some great photoshop finesse and some classy design in my day, but this album cover, I believe, is the cake taker. I used to look at old Master P/No Limit covers and Ca$h Money Records covers and marvel at how the bottles of Moet were larger than the automobiles the dudes were standing next to. Then there was the Big Bear cover, in which the rapper (Big Bear) was puffing on Cuban Cigars with fellow bears (real bears) and Doin Thangs.

But now we have a new champ, and his name is Top Dog. Hilarious title and sheer boldness aside, just take a look at some of the classic goofs that unintentionally make this an amazing piece of art that negates the debate of the music being good or not (it is actually very entertaining and any album featuring Ganksta Nip is worth your time, I promise).

First off, I know we all want to avoid a lawsuit. But if your name is Top Dog, I would assume money ain't a thang. Blurring out the face of the girl that has just been tossed from Magic to Kareem for the two handed flush -possibly in fear of the girl suing- gives us that nice 72 dpi photoshop touch that is rarely seen in todays world of artsy fartsy pencil drawn pre-k art class dreck and overbudget pastelle colored high end rif raf. The girl looks to be screaming for her life beneath that blur, but it's too late. The basket is good! AND 1!!! She even has her hand out to brace her fall on the hard Staple Center floor.

Next, we have the fiberglass backboard, through which you can see broad daylight. It's obviously a picture clipped from a playground backboard during daylight, but where Top Dog is, it looks to be late evening. I mean the skyline says about 7:27 PM- if its spring time, which I assume it is by how he's dressed- but the sky seen through the backboard says high noon.

Also, Top Dog seems to be floating like Clyde "The Glide" Drexler, but in street clothes. Do you know how difficult it is to fly in for a 2 handed dunk -and to dunk a human being for that matter- in a pair of gators and a blazer?! Try this in the dunk comp on All-Star Weekend and you'll get 10's across the board! BUT WAIT!!!! Judges must disqualify!!! This dude is cheatin'! He's clearly standing on a wooden plank, which strangely is dead smack in the middle of the skyline! This is way too much! Good lookin to Vanderslice for sending me this Picasso-eque posterworthy piece of art.

Whether this cover makes you sigh, cringe, laugh uncontrollably (me) or just look in disbelief...it really IS Top Dog and he really IS Slam Dunk'n Hoes. If only all music today was this fun. Support this man!!!!